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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201989">Love in the Time of Corona Virus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djinn/pseuds/Djinn'>Djinn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: The Original Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabbles, F/M, serial</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:47:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djinn/pseuds/Djinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble serial for the Spock/Chapel folks who might need some sustenance during COVID-19 social isolation.  I can't promise I'll update every day, but I'm going to try.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Christine Chapel/Spock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapel can see Spock at a table across the mess.  He keeps looking over at her.  It would be unnerving if Jim hadn't told her Spock asked about the status of their relationship.  Are she and Jim more than just friends?</p>
<p>Jim had told him no.  Which is true.  Even with Spock gone to purge his emotions, she held out hope.</p>
<p>Stupid hope, she thought at the time.  Especially on the nights Jim looked really good.  But hope nonetheless.</p>
<p>And voila.  Here she is being ogled—or the Vulcan version—by her years-long fantasy.</p>
<p>Who says dreams don't come true?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk joins Spock and follows his gaze to Chris's table; she's not looking their way.  "You could've eaten with her."</p>
<p>"You wanted to have lunch."</p>
<p>"We both could have eaten with her."</p>
<p>Spock shoots him a look that clearly means he doesn't want Kirk horning in on his time with Chris.</p>
<p>"Fine, do it your way."</p>
<p>Chris rises, recycles her tray, then passes their table.  "Jim," she murmurs more throatily than he's used to before looking at Spock.  "Oh, hi."  </p>
<p>Once she's gone, Kirk sing-songs, "Somebody's gonna have to work for it."</p>
<p>Spock isn't half as amused as Kirk is.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McCoy sees Spock enter sickbay.  "She's not here."</p>
<p>Jim's filled him in on Spock's sudden interest in Christine.  About damn time. McCoy regrets yanking her chain about him in the past.</p>
<p>Spock almost recovers as he comes to stand in McCoy's doorway.  "Who?  I am here to see you."</p>
<p>"Sure you are.  Next you'll be saying you want a finger or two of this."  He pats the bourbon decanter on his credenza. "She's in lab five. Just putting that out there for anyone interested."</p>
<p>As Spock turns, no doubt to wander casually toward lab five, McCoy murmurs, "Lord have mercy."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock surveys the lab—empty except for Christine—unsure how to proceed.</p>
<p>She looks up and smiles in a way he considers welcoming, so he walks to her table.</p>
<p>"Of all the labs in all the towns..." Her voice is less flirtatious than he remembers.</p>
<p>He cocks an eyebrow. "My mother enjoys that movie."</p>
<p>"It's very romantic."</p>
<p>"If one does not mind the ending."</p>
<p>"Do you mind the ending?" She is grinning in a manner he enjoys. </p>
<p>"I believe it could end in a way more favorable to the couple."</p>
<p>By her look, he realizes he has pleasantly surprised her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapel gestures to the stool across from here.  "Sit."</p>
<p>He takes the stool next to her instead.</p>
<p>"Ballsy move." When his lips tick up enough to qualify for a smile, she hands him her padd.  "Care to weigh in?"</p>
<p>"As science officer or fellow scientist?"</p>
<p>"The latter.  I already have a boss."  </p>
<p>He takes the padd and reads for a moment. "We have never discussed science."</p>
<p>"Sure haven't."</p>
<p>"I have been most remiss.  Would you like a partner on this study?"</p>
<p>"If you think you can keep up."</p>
<p>The rising eyebrow of Vulcan superiority is her answer—as she expected.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So how would you change the movie?" she asks.</p>
<p>He hands back her padd, and her perfume wafts to him as she reaches for it, the scent subtle and fresh...and appealing. "Truthfully, I would not despite my earlier comment."</p>
<p>She looks puzzled. "Why not?"</p>
<p>"I prefer to focus on a relationship I can actually change rather than a fictional one."</p>
<p>"Hmmm. Is this relationship with anyone I know?"  She is laughing again.  "You and Len finally going to get to the bottom of all that nasty sarcasm?"</p>
<p>"I believe my relationship with Doctor McCoy is fine the way it is."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh," she says, enjoying this way too much.  "You mean Jim.  Your 'this simple feeling' moment..."</p>
<p>"Please do not read into that more than I intended.  He was my closest friend.  I abandoned him."</p>
<p>"I saw him after. He was blindsided, Spock.  So hurt. Why did you leave?"</p>
<p>"It is immaterial now. And he is not the only one I left behind."  He gives her a look she thinks is meant to return them to their previous easy banter.</p>
<p>Only...no.  Because if she lets him evade, and they end up together, he'll think that's okay. </p>
<p>"Why did you leave, Spock?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He does not answer immediately.  He has not told Jim the real truth; not when his friend has forgiven him without it.  He meets her eyes, says, "I was floundering."</p>
<p>"How so?"</p>
<p>"I had strayed from the Vulcan ideal. Everything was changing. Ending. And my sorrow—I was uncertain how to process it. Or even why I felt it."</p>
<p>"Did you tell Jim that?"</p>
<p>"No. He was already off the ship, Christine.  In his mind, I mean. Tired, I believe. Ready for change."</p>
<p>"Change that didn't include you. He abandoned you first?"</p>
<p>He feels a surge of relief—she understands.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I know what it's like to have someone so fully turned to the future that it feels like there's no room for you."  She smiles gently; she doesn't think this is something he's told anyone and that makes her happy—and also makes her sad.  "But Spock, Jim isn't Roger.  He missed you. So much."</p>
<p>God knows there are enough bars on Earth that she and Jim sat in and tried to figure out why Spock had left.</p>
<p>"He has forgiven me."</p>
<p>"Because he knows the path you walk is a difficult one."</p>
<p>He leans in.  "Have you forgiven me?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She seems taken aback.  "What was there to forgive? I was infatuated.  You didn't feel the same. End of story."  </p>
<p>"I—"</p>
<p>"No," she says with such vehemence it surprises him.  "Don't try to turn us into some epic love story that could have been."</p>
<p>He knows he is not hiding his confusion.  "So my attention is unwelcome?"</p>
<p>"Of course not, you dope.  But if you were having a hard time with how strongly you felt about losing the people you loved on this ship, I wasn't one of those people. Be honest with me or we have no future."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapel sees Spock reaching for her hand and yanks it away.  "Telepathy?  That's cheating. We talk."</p>
<p>He looks chastened.</p>
<p>She says as gently as possible, "You don't know where you fit."</p>
<p>"I am first officer and science officer. There is no confusion."</p>
<p>"Yeah, professionally you're fine.  But with Jim, with Len, with others you fled from—you're unsure. That's what this is: I'm your sure thing."</p>
<p>"That is highly unflattering to you."  He looks offended on her behalf. "And to me—that I would use you in such manner."  He leans in. "Nor do I think you would let me."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock can see the fire going out of her as she says.  "The old me might have."</p>
<p>"You are no longer that woman, Christine. You have changed, just as I have. We are in new places.  And I find, from this vantage point, that I am interested in you.  Not because you are certain—perhaps because you are not."</p>
<p>She smiles, the gentleness back and he welcomes it.  "After the incident with Doctor Lester, you seemed...open."</p>
<p>"I was. You did not take advantage of that."</p>
<p>"I was going to med school."</p>
<p>"Yes. Surely not the actions of a sure thing."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Why were you interested then?  Because of Zarabeth? Len told me how strongly you felt about her."  It was, in fact, one of the reasons she decided to change her hair color back to her normal dark.  Spock might like blondes, but only if they weren't her.</p>
<p>It was also part of the reason she hadn't reached back when he'd seemed open. She wasn't going to be anyone's rebound girl. </p>
<p>Is she now?  A rebound from Gol?  Its polar opposite?</p>
<p>Shit—she has to stop overthinking.  He's here, talking about feelings.  She should enjoy that, not analyze it to death.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock considers Christine's question.  "Zarabeth, and what happened to me—how I reverted—only served to increase my confusion. I had always assumed I could depend on the Vulcan half of me to...rise to any occasion.  But on Sarpeidon, I saw what Vulcans were—could be again, but for the control of logic. It was not all that drew me to Gol, but it was assuredly a factor."</p>
<p>"That makes sense.  Did you love her?"</p>
<p>"I knew her for a moment. I wanted to possess her. I felt lust."  He stops—he is sharing so much with her.</p>
<p>Too much?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock's shutting down a little.  She can see it happening.  "Was she that important to you? That you can't even talk about her?"  She touches his arm, but on the fabric so he can't read her.  "Or are you embarrassed admitting to lust?"</p>
<p>He makes the shrug/headshake move that could mean just about anything.</p>
<p>"I mean I know you can feel lust.  I got a taste of that when I came to your quarters. Protesting against our natures or something—you weren't making a ton of sense but your intent was clear."</p>
<p>She thinks he's blushing and finds it charming.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I will be honest with you, Christine—you have said you want that.  It is...strange to discuss these things. Primarily because they are not things I would normally discuss but also because previously I sought to...spare you from the emotions I might have."</p>
<p>"Since they weren't going to be directed my way?"  She doesn't sound hurt, just curious.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Well," she leans in and again he is aware of her perfume, "if that's still the case, then you should skedaddle.  But if those feelings are coming my way now, I think you can talk about whatever the hell you want."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She waits for what he'll say, trying not to laugh as his expression changes, grows almost mischievous.</p>
<p>He leans in. "Given those parameters, I believe no topic is off limits."</p>
<p>"I like that response."</p>
<p>"I thought you might."</p>
<p>She lets her hand slide down his cheek. "What are you getting from me?"</p>
<p>"Many things." There's amusement in his voice.</p>
<p>"You approve of the multitude of emotions I'm lobbing at you."</p>
<p>"Indeed. Knowing how you feel will facilitate wooing you."</p>
<p>She taps her finger on his cheek.  "Don't think you're not going to work for this."</p>
<p>"I would never presume that."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk walks into sickbay and sees Chris' office light is off.  Grinning, he leans against the doorway to Bone's office and says, "Our crazy kids—you think they're doing okay?"</p>
<p>"Jim, I'm a doctor not a fortune teller."  Then he laughs softly. "I hope she's not making it too easy."</p>
<p>"Oh, no danger of that."</p>
<p>"You got to know her pretty well, I guess?"  </p>
<p>"Yeah, I did.  She's fun.  And you weren't in town much."</p>
<p>"I was an ass—just say it."</p>
<p>"Okay, you were an ass."  He feels some relief saying it.  "But I'm really glad you're here now."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McCoy motions for him to sit and pours out some bourbon for them both.  "Let's toast to you being where you belong and me being here to enjoy it."  He realizes that's nowhere near an apology but Jim doesn't seem to care. "About Christine.  She calls you Jim.  In an easy way I wasn't expecting when I showed up.  Did you and she...?"</p>
<p>"Not like I didn't consider it. Bones.  But all she wanted to talk about was Spock.  Call me crazy but I'd like the woman I'm involved with to not be head over heels with some other guy."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Cheers to that."  McCoy holds out his glass.</p>
<p>Kirk clinks glasses gently then savors the taste. </p>
<p>"But rough—if you felt more...?"</p>
<p>He shrugs.  "Given that I, too, wanted to bitch about Spock and his sudden need to purge anything emotional, it was easier to just be friends with her.  She was safe—knew the players but wasn't part of Command."</p>
<p>"Did you two vent about me?"</p>
<p>Kirk doesn't answer immediately, then looks over the glass at his friend—his friend who wasn't around when he needed him. "If we did, she wasn't the one doing most of the talking."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McCoy feels hurt, but guilty too. "That's fair. You could have commed me, though."</p>
<p>Something changes in Jim's face, so much...weariness.</p>
<p>"Damn it, Jim.  I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with you."</p>
<p>"Well just say you're sorry for once. How hard is it?"  He's up and pacing, and he looks angrier than he should be.</p>
<p>"Wait a damn minute—this isn't about me.  You do have feelings for her."</p>
<p>"What if I do? What difference does it make? Here, on this ship, I can't have her."  He takes a deep breath.  "More importantly, I'm not the man she wants."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk murmurs, "Damn it.  I thought I was okay with this."</p>
<p>"You are okay with this.  It just stings, when you realize how much you like her.  How fun she is and how little of your shit she'll take." He laughs bitterly.  "And how she'll never, ever, be yours."</p>
<p>Kirk looks up slowly.   "Ohhh, you too?"</p>
<p>"Why do you think I was such a surly cuss to her about him?"</p>
<p>"But it gets easier?"</p>
<p>"It does. I wouldn't lie about that." He pats the bottle. "This helps."</p>
<p>Kirk extends his glass.  "Then give me more of that fine Kentucky medicine."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapel thinks she could sit forever, just talking to Spock, but her experiment's at a crucial stage. "You ready to work, or are you just going to sit here distracting me?"</p>
<p>"I will be interested in observing your methodology." </p>
<p>A statement that would have been entirely professional if he hadn't raked his eyes over her breasts as he said it.</p>
<p>She taps the side of her head, but knows she's blushing even as she laughs.  "My methodology is up here, buster. But I'm glad you appreciate certain other things."</p>
<p>"I have always."</p>
<p>"So you're a boob man.  Good to know."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock doubts that is an accurate assessment.  He finds he misses the miniskirts—although the pants are obviously more practical—because Christine had very nice legs.  He assumes she still does.  "I believe you are making a radical assumption from one reaction on my part.  If you did that in an experiment, I would doubt your ability as a scientist."</p>
<p>She laughs.  "You mean there are other parts of me you like too.  Feel free to elaborate."  She hands him a padd.  "In the meantime, can you finish this?"  </p>
<p>He looks down; she has given him the most tedious task.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She's entering data into her padd when a message from Jim pops up.  <i>Everything okay in there?</i></p>
<p>She tries to hide any reaction from Spock and keys in: <i>Yes. Why?</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Just, you know, we're here, if you want to abandon science and have some really delicious bourbon.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>We?  Wait—are you drunk?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Maybe. Chris, come on. Come play. Bones and I are lonely.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Going back to my experiment now.</i>
</p>
<p>"Who was that?" Spock asks softly.</p>
<p>She meets his eyes.  "Jim."</p>
<p>"Ah."</p>
<p>"Ah?"</p>
<p>His eyebrow goes up. "Should I be concerned?"</p>
<p>She rolls her eyes.  "No. Get back to work, slacker."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's worse than we thought."  Kirk pushes his glass over and liquid sloshes.  "Fill 'er up."</p><p>"It is full, Jim.  You're wasting my good hooch."</p><p>He grabs the glass back, more liquid spills.  "They're <i>experimenting</i>, Bones.  They're at the experimenting stage."  </p><p>"Well, that's just dandy."  McCoy throws back his drink. "Is he good in bed, Jim?"</p><p>"How would I know."</p><p>"Oh, you mean you two...  I kinda thought that's why he left."</p><p>"No, I have no goddamned clue why he left, okay?  It wasn't my fault."</p><p>"Sure. Okay.  So he and Christine are really doing it. In the science lab?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I have to use that lab too, you know."  McCoy leans back and the room begins to spin. He reaches for some antitox but lets it sit on the table, not quite ready to be sober.  "I don't want to talk about her, Jim.  Fuck Christine and the Vulcan she rode in on."</p>
<p>"That doesn't even make sense."  Jim reaches for the antitox but McCoy slams down his hand. "Oww.  Jeez.  What happened to first do no harm?"</p>
<p>"What are we going to do?"</p>
<p>"I'm gonna barf if you don't let me have some antitox."</p>
<p>"Oh. Then be my guest."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"May I ask you an intrusive question, Christine?"</p>
<p>She laughs and pretends to think about it.  "Yes, you may."</p>
<p>"Are you aware that Jim is...interested in you?"</p>
<p>She meets his eyes, trying to tell where he's going with this.  "Yes, but how do you know that?"</p>
<p>"His scent changes around you."</p>
<p>"Ah, arousal."  She laughs softly.  "Pheromones must be a bitch."</p>
<p>He lifts an eyebrow and nods. </p>
<p>"Does my scent change around him?"</p>
<p>"Not in the same way."</p>
<p>"Well, there you go."  She reaches for the padd; he stops her.</p>
<p>"It does change, Christine. You are not unaware of him."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Of course not. I love him.  He's my friend. He will continue to be my friend."  She narrows her eyes.  "Is that a problem? Do you not trust him—or me?"</p>
<p>"I only wish to make sure we understand how things are."  He studies her, unsure how far to push this.  "Doctor McCoy also—"</p>
<p>"Oh, for God's sake, Spock.  Yes, I know that too. Len's about as subtle as a bulldog—even for a human without your super-nose."  She attends to a beeping sensor, then turns back to him.  "It's why he was so mean to you—and me."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I did not realize that at the time. Was not paying attention to what was around me in the same way."</p>
<p>"Or I just dowsed the living hell out of you with my unrequited love pheromones?"  She laughs,  imagining what an overload that must have been.  "Look, Len will be fine without me.  He's been without me for years."  She laughs softly.  "And if I were interested in Jim, I'd be screwed.  'Not in the nest.'"</p>
<p>"He might bend that rule for you."</p>
<p>She shrugs. He looks unsure so she grabs his hand, saying, "What do you feel?"</p>
<p>"Annoyance, primarily."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Exactly.  Tell me more nice things about me—what?  You think I'm not needy?"</p>
<p>He enjoys the feel of her hand in his.  "It is more your pragmatism that is a revelation."</p>
<p>"I've always been pragmatic. I left the ship, didn't I?"</p>
<p>"And me."</p>
<p>"Yes, and you.  Physically—I'm not sure I gave up on you."</p>
<p>"A fact I find myself profoundly grateful for."  He wants to pull her to him—can feel her arousal—but he lets go of her hand and picks up the padd.  "I must work. My supervisor is most exacting."</p>
<p>She laughs as he expects.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk feels the antitox flooding his system, and the need to puke recedes as the room stops spinning.</p>
<p>"Better?" McCoy asks.</p>
<p>He nods, but actually it's not better—he enjoyed drunkenly pretending he had a shot at getting Chris to leave Spock—and their future—and come drink with him and McCoy.</p>
<p>Plus—"Do you really think it was my fault? That Spock ran to Gol over me?"</p>
<p>McCoy bristles before he can finish the sentence.  "Hell, I don't know, Jim.  The timing just made sense.  And you were...you were already at Command sitting right there in the center seat."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McCoy's sick of this half-fight he and Jim are having.  Hell, he should put his cards on the table and let them talk about them.  "You were gone, Jim.  I felt it, so I know he had to too.  He invested so much of himself in you."</p>
<p>Kirk sits open mouthed then laughs, the bitter "I can't believe you said that" laugh that isn't McCoy's favorite.  "I couldn't stay on the ship forever."</p>
<p>"Why not? You're back here now.  Hell, we all are.  No harm, no foul—that's what you want, right? A total reset according to your goddamned will."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You have somewhere else you'd rather be?"  Kirk's voice drips acid and he doesn't care.  </p><p>"Well that's the issue, isn't it?  You have no idea what I had going.  A woman I loved?  A job I'd been working hard to land? You wanted, Starfleet agreed, and I'm stuck."</p><p>"Stuck?  I demoted Chris for you, Bones. You stayed—you never said you wanted anything else.  And you're not known for your inability to speak your mind.  If you want to leave so goddamn bad, just say the word.  I'll have you off the ship and Chris where she's supposed to be."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Because you trust her." Jim's words sting.  Why is McCoy the only one who's expected to apologize?  He didn't have a woman but he had lined up his dream job—and let it go when he decided to stay on a ship he'd already gotten sick of once. "And you don't trust me anymore, do you?"  </p>
<p>"Not sober, I don't."  Jim closes his eyes, like he hadn't meant to say something so cutting.</p>
<p>"You want me to go, Jim?  It hasn't escaped my notice we do our best interacting drinking in the lounge. It's not like it used to be."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk sighs and leans back.  "I don't want you to go.  I did demote Chris for you.  I'd do it again.  I need you.  But..." He closes his eyes.  "But I don't know how to get back what we had."  He holds his hand up when McCoy starts to speak.  "What was I supposed to do, Bones?  Say no to the brass—to being an admiral?  Be like the relics who never move the hell on and give someone else a chance?" He opens his eyes.  "You think I didn't want to be back on the ship?  I despised Command."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I despised myself when I was at Command" Jim whispers and for the first time, McCoy feels the opening between them like the old days, the whisper of an unsaid cry of: "Help me.  I'm drowning."</p><p>"I wasn't ready for you to go.  Spock wasn't either.  You were the only one who was ready."  Then he sighs.  "You and Christine.  Already gone too."</p><p>"Leave her out of this."</p><p>"If only I could. You demoted her for me.  You think I haven't heard about that?  Even when she doesn't say a word.  You think I don't know these are <i>her</i> people?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hers and Decker's," Kirk whispers, finally putting into words what he's been feeling.  "It's like he's a ghost. I can feel him everywhere."</p>
<p>"That's called a guilty conscience, Jim.  You stole the ship out from under him.  Probably hated that he had it in the first place."</p>
<p>"No. I recommended him.  He was going to be a great captain.  And I..."</p>
<p>"Stole it. If you have the balls to say you stole it then I'll say I'm sorry for not being there for you."</p>
<p>"Your olive branch needs work."  He gets up and leaves before Bones can say anything more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock watches as Christine becomes increasingly engrossed in what she's doing.  He admires how she multitasks but misses talking with her—ironic that she is the one more focused on their experiment.  Then again it has been <i>their</i> experiment for only a short time.  </p>
<p>He notices her beverage container is empty.  There is no replicator in the lab so he asks, "Would you like more coffee?"</p>
<p>She smiles at him in a way he wishes never to lose.  "That would be wonderful. Guatemalan, with three milks and two sugars."  </p>
<p>"I will remember that."  He has already committed it to memory.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I expect you to remember many things."  Her voice is sensual, more sensual than she'd normally let it get.  "Make a folder titled 'random shit Christine likes' or something."</p><p>"I believe I would simply call it: 'Christine's preferences.'"</p><p>"You can call it whatever you like as long as it's well indexed.  I don't want you forgetting my favorite things."  Favorite activities.  Favorite positions.  So many possibilities.  She laughs and shoos him away with her hand.  "You were going to get coffee, weren't you? "</p><p>"You enjoy directing my actions."</p><p>"I do. Immensely."</p><p>"I shall enjoy directing yours in other circumstances."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock is aware his arousal is evident.  He can tell Christine is also aware.</p>
<p>"Someone wasn't thinking of moments like this when they requisitioned these new uniforms. Although I have to admit I'm enjoying it."  She finally looks up, meets his eyes.  "And I hope you don't expect to always be the boss in...other circumstances."</p>
<p>"I prefer flexibility in designation of command."</p>
<p>"I agree."</p>
<p>"Then we have nothing to worry about.  Would you like anything else with your coffee?"  </p>
<p>"Cookies."  </p>
<p>He waits for her to elaborate but she does not, simply looks down at her padd. He will...surprise her then.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Chapter 42</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk's barreling down the corridor, wearing what's probably a dark expression, the one he wore at Command most days near the end. No one is trying to stop him to talk.</p>
<p>He nearly runs into Spock and realizes he has been walking toward the lab.  "You and Christine...?"</p>
<p>"I am getting her coffee."</p>
<p>"I need to talk to her for a minute.  That okay with you?"  The words come out sharper than he means them to, but Spock doesn't seem to mind.</p>
<p>"You are angry.  At her?"</p>
<p>"No.  Not at her."  He sees Spock's expression change.  "Not at you, either."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Chapter 43</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Then go. It will take me some time to select the appropriate cookies for her."  Spock wants to make his friend happy—or happier than he appears to be at the moment.  He will delay to give them time to talk.</p>
<p>"She likes snickerdoodles."</p>
<p>He feels a surge of annoyance.  Can he not be allowed to discover this on his own?  Perhaps he will only delay a little.  "I do not enjoy those. They are too sweet.  Perhaps I will choose a type we can both enjoy."  The way he says it is too possessive; Jim does not look pleased.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Chapter 44</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Whatever works."  Jesus, why are they debating cookies?</p>
<p>And why, after all this time, does Spock have to be interested in his Chris?</p>
<p>Shit. She's not that. She never will be.</p>
<p>"Perhaps ginger snaps.  They are not as sweet."  </p>
<p>Kirk can imagine they will become <i>their</i> cookies. A private joke. A sweet moment that solidifies into the story of them and their motherfucking love.  "I'm sure she'll love them.  Go on then. I won't take up much of her time."</p>
<p>"I expect not." His expression is unreadable as he turns and heads into the mess.</p>
<p>Kirk decides he should hurry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Chapter 45</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Christine hears the door open. "Wow, that was fast."</p>
<p>"It's me, not him." Jim sounds like he used to, before he got the ship back.  </p>
<p>"You sober?"</p>
<p>"Yes."  He's pacing. Tense. "Just tell me I made the right decision.  Keeping the ship."</p>
<p>"Decker was gone.  I'd rather have you than someone else."</p>
<p>He turns to study her.  "But would you rather have Decker than me?"</p>
<p>"How can I answer that? I liked him. But you're my friend."</p>
<p>"A friend who demoted you."</p>
<p>"Yeah, that kinda sucked."  She laughs gently.  "What's really wrong? And please don't say it's me and Spock."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Chapter 46</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He studies her then shakes his head.  "I want you to be happy. I'd actually prefer you to be happy with me, but you want him—and I know how long you've loved him."  Although Spock hasn't loved her that long. Kirk's loved her longer—he was just too dumb to know it, too afraid to reach for more when she was leaving.</p>
<p>Too afraid it would be the last straw for him when he was already miserable.</p>
<p>"You and I, we left the ship.  Everyone else stayed in place."</p>
<p>"Soldered in place.  Still are."  Her easy smile cheers him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Chapter 47</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She walks over to him, wanting to help.  "Do you want to know if it was okay to leave when you did? Because it was. Just because you're back here now doesn't mean that it wasn't the right road for you to take then."</p>
<p>"I was unhappy at Command."</p>
<p>"Yes.  And you found that out then.  With time to get back to what you love—something you were bone tired of and thought you could live without.  You got a second chance because you jumped at an opportunity to get off and then jumped the same way right back on."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Chapter 48</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He loves her insight, the way she can talk him down.  Not for the first time he thinks she might have made a wonderful CMO.  Maybe he should have left McCoy where he was.  "This reminds me of when we were on Earth."  </p>
<p>"Only it would have been a bar, not a lab."</p>
<p>"And Spock wouldn't have been coming with cookies for you."  He sighs.  "I think he might be smitten."</p>
<p>"He barely knows me."</p>
<p>"Lucky him, then.  Getting to discover you this way."  He turns as the door opens.  </p>
<p>Spock has a plate full of several types of cookies.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Chapter 49</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock takes in the scene, does not feel as if he has intruded on anything more than two friends.  "Would you like one?"  He holds out the tray.  "I also got chocolate chip.  Your favorite."  It is an olive branch, but he is not sure if Jim is in the mood to reach for it.</p>
<p>"Thank you."  He takes one, bites into it.  "Good as ever.  No goddamned nuts."</p>
<p>"You do not like them in cookies."  Spock feels a fondness for his friend, one that has washed over him repeatedly since he left Gol.  "I wish you to be happy."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Chapter 50</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk is touched, but also amused since Spock doesn't look at Chris when he says it.  He wishes him to be happy—but clearly not with his woman.  "Thank you, old friend."  He turns to Chris.  "And thank you.  For the sanity check."</p><p>"Always."  </p><p>He leaves them and wanders the corridor, his step slower now, and crew he doesn't know murmur shy hellos.  He stops to talk, who are they? How are they finding the ship? What are their hopes and dreams?  The things a captain should know—the things he always used to know.</p><p>When did he stop asking?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Chapter 51</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She walks to Spock and lays her hand on his cheek; he leans into it.  "That was nice—including him that way."</p>
<p>"It is not difficult—and yet, it is.  He knew these were your favorites."  He holds up a snickerdoodle and she happily takes it.  "I was..."</p>
<p>"Jealous?"</p>
<p>"Yes.  That he knows that.  That I do not."  His eyes are so gentle—she doesn't think she's ever seen them that way with her.  "But I know in time that I will know things he does not."  He pulls her closer.  "Has he kissed you?"</p>
<p>She shakes her head.</p>
<p>"Good."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Chapter 52</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He leans in, but she puts the cookie she is holding between them. His lips are on it, not her.  "Christine?"</p>
<p>"This is where I point out you already have kissed me.  Platonius.  Big hair, bad makeup, lots of annoying people watching. Ring a bell?"  She slips away from his grasp, and he is too surprised to try to draw her back.</p>
<p>"That was under duress."</p>
<p>"Uh huh.  Still. You already had that notch on your belt or whatever this is."  She takes the plate of cookies from him.  "Mmm, gingersnaps.  Do you like these or are they for me?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Chapter 53</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I thought...for both of us."</p>
<p>She glances back at him, can tell he's confused.  "I don't like to think I'm some prize, okay?"</p>
<p>"It is not that."</p>
<p>"Really?"  </p>
<p>"I do not think it is that."  He sounds unsure now.</p>
<p>"Good, because that's just going to get awkward."  She takes another bite of the cookie. "And I know you don't think I owe you a kiss because you brought me sweets, right?"</p>
<p>He seems to be considering. "Not now.  But perhaps in the future it would be appropriate to think so?"</p>
<p>"There he is—the master chessman.  Wondered where he went."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Chapter 54</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He likes the sound of her voice, the gentle teasing note that in humans denotes affection.  "I apologize if I made you feel as if this is about more than you."</p>
<p>"It might be.  You and Jim, you and Len, Len and Jim—I think you're all walking on tippy toes around each other.  But keep me out of it as much as you can, okay?"  </p>
<p>"I will.  Except that if you are my woman, then you will interact with Jim."</p>
<p>"Sweetie, I'll interact with him even if I'm not 'your woman' and also, not sure I love the terminology."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Chapter 55</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She's curious what he'll do with that.  He's clearly considering his options as he takes a gingersnap from the plate and tries it.  The tentative expression changes to one of pleasure.</p>
<p>"Good, huh?"</p>
<p>He nods then he meets her eyes.  "If I were to say that I would be 'your man,' would that make the terminology less objectionable?"</p>
<p>"It should, shouldn't it?  Implies mutual possession.  But culturally, it also applies mastery—my man who runs my life.  Not my man who does whatever the fuck I tell him." She laughs and waits to see if he'll react to the swearing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Chapter 56</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock concedes her point with a nod.  He thinks she has tried to shock him with her colorful language.  She is the one who will be shocked when she is alone with his mother for any length of time.  He imagines there are words she could teach Christine.  "Such a highly charged saying.  I thought—I thought you would enjoy the implied connection. I did not consider the implied possession."</p>
<p>"Language is tricky."</p>
<p>"How would you prefer I refer to you?"</p>
<p>"'The old ball and chain' is a classic."  She laughs when he lifts an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"Decidedly pejorative."</p>
<p>"No lie."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. Chapter 57</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He sits next to her, then realizes in his haste to pick out cookies and get back to her before Jim—did what?  He is not sure—he has forgotten the coffee.  "I must return to the mess. The coffee—"</p>
<p>"Can wait.  I'll be running high on sugar after this anyway."  </p>
<p>Relieved, he goes back to considering names for her.  "A human would call you 'my love.'"</p>
<p>"You don't love me. Not yet, Spock, be honest.  Let's not label each other with things not yet true."</p>
<p>"Ball and chain is becoming more appealing."</p>
<p>She laughs.  "Maybe shorten it?  B&amp;C?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. Chapter 58</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I will think of something else."   He reaches out and touches her hair, playing with it in a manner she decides is more curious than seductive.  "It is fine. Vulcan hair tends to be coarse."</p>
<p>"May I?"  When he nods, she reaches for his, stroking the way she's always wanted to, then running run her fingers under his hair, across his scalp.  "Feels good?"</p>
<p>"It feels...astounding."  He leans into her hand.  "My mother did this when I was a child.  It lacked the sexual aspect."</p>
<p>"Duh. It's supposed to when it's your mom."  </p>
<p>She earns herself a glare and laughs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Chapter 59</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He is mesmerized by the dual sensations.  The tactile pleasure of what she is doing to him and the feel of her emotions being transmitted by the action.  "Are you certain I may not kiss you?"</p>
<p>"Will it be about me this time?"</p>
<p>"Most assuredly."</p>
<p>"I think I'll kiss you, if that's all right?"</p>
<p>"As long as your lips are on mine, I find myself agnostic as to who initiates the act."</p>
<p>"And they say romance is dead."  She is laughing as she leans in, pulling him to her, her lips soft and warm on his.</p>
<p>He surrenders to bliss.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0060"><h2>60. Chapter 60</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kissing Spock is amazing.  So different than when the Platonians forced them.  He is so <i>with</i> her at this moment. His mouth opening but only slightly, not trying to accelerate, just enjoying what she's willing to give.</p>
<p>He reaches up, his hand around the back of her neck, but gently, not pulling her toward him, just more connection.</p>
<p>Finally, she eases away, which is a good thing because the lab doors hiss open.  She has to give Spock credit; he doesn't jump away.  </p>
<p>Instead he turns, nods at a man she doesn't recognize, and says, "We have reserved this lab."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0061"><h2>61. Chapter 61</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock almost feels guilty—there are five empty stations. </p>
<p>Then again there are also fifteen other labs, the majority unused.</p>
<p>"Lieutenant Patel, have you met Doctor Chapel?" </p>
<p>"No. It's a pleasure, ma'am."</p>
<p>"I don't remember you on the manifest," she says.</p>
<p>"I transferred on a few days ago."</p>
<p>He can tell what she is thinking: this is Jim's person, not Decker's.  </p>
<p>"Do you like the ship?" she asks.</p>
<p>"The <i>Enterprise</i> is amazing. I didn't see a reservation on this lab or I wouldn't—"</p>
<p>"Our mistake.  Or his, actually." She gestures at Spock.</p>
<p>"Yes. One that I will rectify immediately."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0062"><h2>62. Chapter 62</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kirk ponders whether to go to Sick Bay and try to work things out with McCoy.  They've both said things that needed to be said—maybe now they just need to think and not try to solve.</p>
<p>Or maybe he's just not in the mood to be the bigger man.  So he heads to the lounge.  He stops at the door, taking in the scene.  He sees a group who look uncomfortable—he won't be ruining their fun if he stops to shoot the shit, so he does, and they perk up and are laughing by the time he leaves.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0063"><h2>63. Chapter 63</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rand watches as the captain turns and sees her sitting with her back against the bar.  She was supposed to meet Nyota, but she's working with the engineers to fix the latest bug in her console.  Fortunately, barring the horrific accident before they left Earth, the transporters have behaved themselves.</p>
<p>He walks over, grinning broadly. "Jan."</p>
<p>"I remember when you did that for every new cohort, sir."</p>
<p>"Call me Jim when we're off duty, Jan.  I should have told you that long ago."</p>
<p>She feels a rush of pleasure—he never let her do that when she was his yeoman.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0064"><h2>64. Chapter 64</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Buy a hapless captain a drink?"</p>
<p>"Sure, if you can find me one."  She grins as she finishes her drink, and he's charmed by her new attitude.</p>
<p>"Get her another," he tells the crewman acting as bartender.  "And I'll have my usual.  On me."</p>
<p>When the drinks come, he holds his up and says, "To new beginnings."</p>
<p>"And old friends."</p>
<p>"Hear hear." He drinks and studies her.  "I haven't asked why you didn't go to OCS."</p>
<p>"I wasn't ready.  Someday, maybe.  I met someone, a transporter tech—she sold me on transporter school.  She had so much passion for it."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0065"><h2>65. Chapter 65</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Someone special?"  He's clearly fishing.</p>
<p>She decides not to take the bait.  "I talked to someone in the program, it seemed like a great fit—less scary, frankly, than OCS."   </p>
<p>"I remember what that was like.  Having an area that was all mine.  I loved it."</p>
<p>"This whole ship is all yours."  But she knows exactly what he means.  He controls everything in theory but he's only as good as his poorest performer.  Fortunately, she hasn't met anyone on the ship she'd consider a slacker and she makes it her business to know what's going on.  Old habits die hard.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0066"><h2>66. Chapter 66</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So why are you alone?" she asks.  "No chess partner?"</p><p>"He's with Chris."  He frowns—should he have said that?</p><p>"And she didn't tell me?  Shit, you know you think you're friends... Actually she stopped really sharing much just about the time she started hanging out with you.  For the record, I didn't care."</p><p>"She and I weren't..."</p><p>She laughs and it's not the sweet sound of when she was his yeoman.  "No shit.  You wanted it, though.  I know how you look when you want something."</p><p>"Say you're right—it wouldn't matter. She's loved him for a long time."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0067"><h2>67. Chapter 67</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She holds up her glass.  "If they're finally getting together, then we should toast them. I mean sucks for you, but I'm happy for my friend."</p>
<p>He bursts out laughing and she does too.  "You've changed, Jan."</p>
<p>She leans in.  "I grew a pair."  She pats down her very simple updo.  "And got rid of the ridiculous basket weave.  Why didn't you tell me how dumb it was?"</p>
<p>"I liked it.  I used to wonder how long it took you to get it that way."</p>
<p>"It was a hairpiece. It took mere minutes."  She laughs at how disappointed he looks.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0068"><h2>68. Chapter 68</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Did I kill the mystery?"  She's giggling in a way that makes him start to laugh.  "Am I suddenly less exotic?"  She leans in, and he catches a whiff of her perfume—green and nothing like the floral she used to wear.</p>
<p>She's changed so much, and he finds he approves.</p>
<p>"Are you meeting someone?"  It's out before he can call it back.  What difference does it make if she is?  She's his crew.  She's enlisted.  She was his yeoman—people might infer they were together then too, which could hurt her career.</p>
<p>"Nyota."  </p>
<p>He feels a rush of relief.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0069"><h2>69. Chapter 69</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She can read his face in ways she thinks he's totally unaware of.  She watched him too many times with some new pretty alien not to recognize interest.  "But sir, that transporter tech with the passion for beaming things in and out.  She's my girlfriend." </p>
<p>"Oh.  You didn't say."</p>
<p>"Didn't see how it was your business."  She tilts her head.  "What's really wrong, <i>Jim</i>?  As lovely as it is to have you paying this much attention to me, I'm not going to take it too personally since I think you're trying to avoid something that's truly bothering you."</p>
<p>"Am not."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0070"><h2>70. Chapter 70</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She laughs.  "Seriously?  Are you a toddler?"  </p>
<p>He decides ballsy Jan is a little annoying.  Should he talk to her about this?  They used to talk all the time when she was his yeoman, but about things that didn't matter.  He never wanted to let her in too much, couldn't have her thinking they were close in that way.  </p>
<p>He's not sure he wants to let her in now, but she's waiting, her face free of judgment.  "You weren't here when this all ended.  I...I may not have handled it all that well."  </p>
<p>There.  It's said.  It's his fucking fault.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0071"><h2>71. Chapter 71</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She sees something she doesn't like in his face: defeat—and guilt.  "Bullshit."</p>
<p>"Excuse me?"</p>
<p>"Far be it for me to interfere with your relationship angst, but I saw you about a month before you transferred off.  You looked exhausted.  And you had a right to be.  Five years, Jim.  That's a long fucking time.  If you wanted off, you had the right. And it's not like you jumped ship to take over a garbage scow.  The admiralty had to be a pretty attractive option."  </p>
<p>"Can you go tell McCoy that?"  He immediately seems to regret blurting the request out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0072"><h2>72. Chapter 72</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"No.  He's your friend.  You'll work it out.  Or you won't and the friendship will change.  That's how Christine and I are going, I think. She didn't share and she's still not—why am I hearing about Spock from you?"</p>
<p>He can see she's hurt by the distance Chris must have put up between them.  But Chris hadn't been spending much time with Uhura either on Earth. </p>
<p>Just with him.  Or with Decker.  Or in Med school.  "She was busy—not just with me.  As for this thing with Spock—he's impulsive.  He didn't give her a lot of notice."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0073"><h2>73. Chapter 73</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So I should cut her some slack?"  </p>
<p>"A little.  If she's still staying mum a week from now, then maybe there's a problem."</p>
<p>"Are you the right man to be giving relationship advice?"  She tries to take away any sting with a smile.</p>
<p>"Honestly, no."  He turns to survey the room.  "They all look so young."</p>
<p>"I know.  I feel old."</p>
<p>"You look great.  Your girlfriend is a lucky woman."</p>
<p>"I'm lucky too.  She makes me happy."</p>
<p>He's always known this day would come. That Jan would cease to be someone he might someday reach for. "I'm happy for you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0074"><h2>74. Chapter 74</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rand sees Nyota come into the lounge and says, "Have to leave you."</p><p>"Thanks for keeping me company."</p><p>"Thanks for the drink."  She heads off Nyota before she can get to the bar, moving them toward a quiet section. </p><p>"Why are we here?  We could be sitting with him."</p><p>"Info alert."  She almost laughs at how Nyota's expression changes at the old codewords.</p><p>"No—what did you tell him?"</p><p>"You remember Monica?"</p><p>"The girlfriend I told you not to break up with?  Of course."</p><p>"I may have told him I'm still with her.  Well, I didn't say her name but..."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0075"><h2>75. Chapter 75</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Uhura is so confused.  "But you finally had his undivided attention."</p>
<p>"I know.  It was so great."</p>
<p>She takes Jan's drink. "I need sustenance for this."</p>
<p>"If he thinks I'm taken, I'm safe.  The same way Christine was when he went and fell in love with her."</p>
<p>And didn't bother to tell either of them—Uhura's still a little pissed over that.  Not that Christine was spending time with the captain, but that she spent so little time with either of them.</p>
<p>"So this is your way of landing him?" </p>
<p>"Or just getting to know him. As an actual friend."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0076"><h2>76. Chapter 76</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rand takes her glass back.  "I suggest you become out of reach too.  If nothing else, you'll get to call him Jim in private."</p><p>"I already do."</p><p>Rand feels a pang at that.  Can none of her friends share this kind of info?  Are they trying to spare her?  "Since when?"</p><p>"Since forever.  But only when it's just us two, which it never is, so it hardly counts."  She takes the drink back.  "Okay, so maybe your plan has merit.  He hasn't asked me if I'm involved with anyone.  I don't want it to be Fleet.  Too easy to check."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0077"><h2>77. Chapter 77</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Interstellar man of mystery is a classic."  </p><p>Uhura laughs at Jan's expression—she's having so much fun with this.   "Yeah, I'll think of something else.  Maybe a friend from childhood."  She frowns.  "Christine can tell him it's a lie though."</p><p>"Can she?  Does she really know what either of us is up to beyond the most basic details?"  Jan lifts her eyebrows and tilts her head, and Uhura has to concede with a nod.  </p><p>"But to trick him seems wrong.  How about I just stay single?  You take this one."</p><p>"<i>This one</i>?  This one is the motherfucking James T. Kirk."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0078"><h2>78. Chapter 78</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rand waits—how can anyone argue the logic?</p>
<p>"Honestly, I'm more interested in Spock." She smiles dreamily.</p>
<p>"Oh, do I have bad news for you then."</p>
<p>"Goddammit.  Christine?"</p>
<p>"Christine."</p>
<p>"What the hell?  Is she using some black-market pheromone spray?"</p>
<p>"Beats me." Rand laughs at how pissed off Nyota is.  It's so rare for her to swear that way.  But she's right.  When the fuck did Christine Chapel become the femme fatale on the ship?  Next thing they'd find out McCoy also has a crush on her.  "So, you want to try for the captain or do I have free rein?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0079"><h2>79. Chapter 79</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Uhura thinks about it.  How nice it might be—but man, also awkward if it went badly.  Or if he suddenly remembered his cardinal rule about dating on his own ship.  She's seen how fast women he showed even the slightest interest in, like Noel and Moreau, seemed to transfer off. "I have to see him every minute of every shift.  So you can have him.  But you owe me so many drinks."</p>
<p>"I'll buy you all the drinks."</p>
<p>"Let's not go that far." Jan makes a lot less credits than she does. "All the drinks for a week."</p>
<p>"Deal."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0080"><h2>80. Chapter 80</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapel eyes the plate of cookies.  "You didn't really think I was going to eat all those, did you?"</p>
<p>"I wanted to please you. Truthfully, I selected anything I thought you might like."</p>
<p>His answer charms her.  "Well, there's a mess of stasis units in these cabinets that will keep the cookies fresh for next time.  Maybe you could get us one while you reserve the lab?"</p>
<p>"Ah, yes.  Before another crew member comes in?"</p>
<p>"Just exactly.  Unless you're already tired of kissing me and no longer care if we're interrupted?"</p>
<p>A lift of an elegant eyebrow is her answer.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0081"><h2>81. Chapter 81</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock quickly takes care of storing the cookies and reserving the lab indefinitely. He walks back to her, standing behind her as she works at a terminal, watching what she is doing.  Enjoying what she is doing—that they are sharing science.</p><p>She tilts her head up and he leans down and kisses her gently. Her lips turn up under his, into a smile.</p><p>Why did he not accept what she offered during their first voyage together?  She feels extraordinary in his arms, her lips soft and sweet.  "I am sorry."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For not realizing what I was refusing."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0082"><h2>82. Chapter 82</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She leans against him, reaching for his hands where he lightly grips her shoulders.  "Maybe now's the exact right time for us?  Maybe you needed to go through Gol and I needed to get through Med School?  Maybe those experiences changed us enough to be ready for this?"  At least she wants to think so—it's too sad to focus on what they've missed.</p>
<p>"Perhaps so."  He leans over her, pointing to a formula on the screen.  "This is unexpected."</p>
<p>She laughs.  Not because he's changing the subject.  But because they're sharing this.  He's finding unexpected things in her work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0083"><h2>83. Chapter 83</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He studies more of her work.  Truly, she has a wonderfully agile mind.  It will be fascinating to discover it.  Perhaps as fascinating as learning her body, her likes and dislikes, and how she takes her pleasure. </p>
<p>She lets go of his hands and he wants to draw her back to him, but instead brings a stool over so they can work.</p>
<p>Once, long ago, he and Leila sat like this.  It was how she worked her way through his defenses.  He was helpless against science.</p>
<p>Now he wants to let Christine in, as far as she wishes to go.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0084"><h2>84. Chapter 84</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock moves closer and she laughs at his less than subtle maneuverings.  "Lonely?"</p><p>"Nostalgic, perhaps. It has been some time since I had a partner with whom scientific collaboration was possible."</p><p>"Leila?"  She starts to laugh and slugs him gently in the arm.  "You really think <i>now</i> is a good time to talk about her?"</p><p>"Are our former relationships a topic we cannot discuss?"  </p><p>"No, we can."  But do they really have to talk about that relationship?  Leila was so damn pretty.  "Do you ever miss her?"</p><p>"No." He says it so quickly and matter-of-factly she doesn't feel threatened anymore.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0085"><h2>85. Chapter 85</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock can tell Christine tensed when he brought up Leila.  She has no reason to. Leila is his past and she is, as far as he knows, happily married now with a child.  She gave up on him.</p>
<p>"Do you miss Roger?"</p>
<p>"That gets a little complicated when your ex turns into a psychopathic android."</p>
<p>"Admittedly."</p>
<p>"But yeah, before I found out what he did, I missed him.  Except…"</p>
<p>"Except…?"  He knows what she is going to say.  Except she was in love with him, if what she said during the Psi2000 virus outbreak was true.</p>
<p>"Except there was you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0086"><h2>86. Chapter 86</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She meets his eyes, reading so much in his—how much he understands her.  "It broke my heart to lose him all over again."  She runs her palm down his cheek.  "And it didn't.  I kept hoping maybe that had been the thing that kept you away."</p>
<p>"I was betrothed."</p>
<p>"And I was supposed to know that how?"  She cups his chin.  "Besides, you didn't want me back then."</p>
<p>"I did want you.  In my bed.  But given where I was on my journey, no, I did not want you as a partner."</p>
<p>"Lust, not love?"</p>
<p>He nods.</p>
<p>"And now?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0087"><h2>87. Chapter 87</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He reaches for her hand and brings it to his lips, kissing her fingers gently.  "It will be more than simply lust."</p>
<p>"How can you be so sure?  We haven't even done it yet.  You might find once we've had sex, you won't want any more than that from me."</p>
<p>"Should we have sex now and put that idea to rest?"  He has to bite back a smile at her glare.  "Christine, I am willing to pursue a woman my closest friend has feelings for.  What does that tell you?"</p>
<p>"That you're a competitive jerk with no sense of loyalty?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0088"><h2>88. Chapter 88</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She laughs at his surprise.  "Oh, wait, it means that you're serious about me."  She pulls him to her and kisses him, enjoying the freedom to touch him, to be so free with him.  "Still, it is kind of a dick move."</p>
<p>"You were interested in me first."</p>
<p>"I'm interested in you period."</p>
<p>"What if I were not here?"</p>
<p>"I'd have left the ship.  Never really gotten to know Jim."</p>
<p>"You will have an answer for any direction I go with this."</p>
<p>"I sure will.  Roger used to say I was good at seeing all paths and planning for them."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0089"><h2>89. Chapter 89</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I look forward to discovering this aspect of you."</p>
<p>"It annoyed him.  I always knew when he was lying."  </p>
<p>He lifts an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"Well, okay, not the really big lie of being a psychopathic android, but cut a girl some slack.  That scenario is an outlier in most cases."</p>
<p>He concedes that with a nod.  Although given the number of androids they have encountered over the years, perhaps it should not be.</p>
<p>"Has there been no one else since Roger?"</p>
<p>"Personal question."</p>
<p>"Yes. It is."</p>
<p>"I didn't sit alone pining for you all these years. Did you expect me to?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0090"><h2>90. Chapter 90</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Of course not.  But I find myself…envious of those men."</p>
<p>"Who says they were men?"  She bursts out laughing at the expression he can't hide. </p>
<p>"You are a fascinating woman."</p>
<p>"And don't you forget it."  She laughs as he pulls her off her stool and onto his lap.  "Did I say you could do that?"</p>
<p>"We have four point three minutes until we must check our experiment.  I suggest we put the time to good use."</p>
<p>"So logical."  She snakes her arms around his neck, sighs as he pulls her closer, and puts the time to very, very good use.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0091"><h2>91. Chapter 91</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock hears the timer go off and reluctantly lets Christine go.</p>
<p>She laughs at the frustration he is clearly not hiding well. "Awww, are you pouting because I'm tending my experiment when I should be kissing you some more?"</p>
<p>"I am not pouting and is it not now our experiment?"</p>
<p>"What if I don't want it to be ours?" She looks at him in what he can tell is mock severity.</p>
<p>"Then it is yours."  He waits for her smile and is not disappointed.</p>
<p>"Smart man."</p>
<p>"I cannot envision you with anyone who was not intelligent."</p>
<p>"Got that right, Mister."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0092"><h2>92. Chapter 92</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She turns back to their experiment, works for a moment, then feels him putting his arms around her waist as he kisses her neck.  "I'm working here."</p><p>"Yes, <i>you</i> are. But I am free to do this.  I presume you can multitask? The activity you are doing is quite rudimentary." </p><p>She knows he wouldn't jeopardize results so she closes her eyes for a moment as he kisses a particularly sensitive spot.  He is pressed tightly against her and she can feel that he wants her.   If only she could tell the Chapel of the past that this day would come.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0093"><h2>93. Chapter 93</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock watches her work as he kisses her—he can multitask also.  He enjoys the way she does not lose focus despite the fact he is making her increasingly aroused.</p>
<p>He is making himself that way too. On the old Enterprise, when he reserved a lab, it locked it to all but Jim.  But he is not sure that is the case after the refits.  "Computer, is the door locked?"</p>
<p>"Negative."</p>
<p>Christine giggles, and he finds it charming.  She says, "Lock the damn door then, Computer."</p>
<p>"Affirmative."</p>
<p>She turns, wrapping her arms around him.  "I'm all done for the night."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0094"><h2>94. Chapter 94</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"With the experiment or me?" he asks, his eyes gleaming in a way she's not used to.  His lips tick up a little, too.</p>
<p>She loves how playful he can be.  "I don't know.  Should I be done with you?"</p>
<p>"No. I did just lock the door."</p>
<p>"Mmmm, you did, didn't you?"  She runs her fingers through his hair, and he closes his eyes, then leans his forehead against hers.  "I really like touching you, Spock."</p>
<p>"I enjoy being touched by you. A fortuitous coincidence of interests."</p>
<p>"Indeed."  She goes back to kissing him. She could kiss him all night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0095"><h2>95. Chapter 95</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suddenly, she pulls away.  "Wait, I was the one who locked the door."</p>
<p>He is amused at the umbrage in her tone.  "It took you some time to realize I misspoke."</p>
<p>"Well, I was distracted. You're distracting me.  Really, really well."  She rubs against him in a way that is rapidly becoming his favorite sensation.  "We make a good team."</p>
<p>"We do."</p>
<p>"So when you used to lock the lab before, were you in it with a woman doing this?"  She is laughing so he knows she does not believe he was.</p>
<p>"I was not. You knew it was locked?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0096"><h2>96. Chapter 96</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She realizes she just sounded like a stalker.  "You always took the one closest to sickbay."</p>
<p>"Did I?"</p>
<p>"Mmm hmmm.  Was it to be close to Len? Just couldn't get enough of his ribbing?"</p>
<p>"Perhaps, unconsciously, it was a way to be closer to you."  He seems to be considering if that's true, not just saying it to make her feel good.</p>
<p>"It would be really nice if that were the case."</p>
<p>He pulls her back, his hands going under her shirt, and while it feels marvelous, she isn't sure whether she'll be able to stop if they keep going.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0097"><h2>97. Chapter 97</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She eases away.  "Spock, as nice as this is, I think we need to find a new venue.  Somewhere less…private and locked."</p>
<p>"I do not wish to."  He strokes her hair off her cheek.  "But I acquiesce.  Perhaps the observation lounge or we could walk on one of the lower decks."</p>
<p>"All very private activities.  Is this something that only happens in private?"</p>
<p>He can tell from where he is touching her that she has gone from happy to uncertain.</p>
<p>"Because if that's all this is, count me out."  And from uncertain to angry.</p>
<p>He considers his next words carefully.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0098"><h2>98. Chapter 98</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock seems to have no answer and she begins to feel like a fool.  </p>
<p>Pulling away, she starts to close down the terminal.  "Cat got your tongue?"</p>
<p>"I have never understood that statement."</p>
<p>Before she can react, he says, "Christine, has it not occurred to you that the idea of being around Jim with you is something that makes me as uncertain as I sensed you feeling just now?"</p>
<p>"Why? I've told you I'm only interested in you."</p>
<p>"Yes, but in comparison.  He is much more skilled and I…"  </p>
<p>"Spock."  She moves back to him.  "I love that you're insecure."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0099"><h2>99. Chapter 99</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It is a charming characteristic?"  He is not sure how that can be true.</p><p>"Well, since you kiss like a champ and I need to get out of here before I forget everything and throw you onto a lab table to ravish you, yes.  You have <i>nothing</i> to be insecure over."  She reaches down, into his pants, and his legs almost give out.  "Also, yowza, buddy."</p><p>He closes his eyes.  "Christine, please."  He is uncertain whether he wants her to stop or persist.  What she is doing to him is extraordinary. He decides he does not want her to stop.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0100"><h2>100. Chapter 100</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even though everything in her is saying to urge him onto the table and let her finish this, she lets go of him, then holds him close and whispers, "I promise I will not always leave you hanging."</p>
<p>"Hardly accurate.  I am fully upright."  He nestles his head in her neck.  "What you make me feel..."</p>
<p>"Me, too, Spock.  Me too."  She makes sure not to grind on him this time as she kisses his cheek gently.  "Now, can we go to the lounge?"</p>
<p>"Give me a moment?"</p>
<p>She glances down, smiles at her handiwork.  "I'll give you a few."</p>
  </div></div>
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